A few weeks ago I stumbled upon some old posts that I made in late 2009/early 2010 in regards to Michael. I was shocked at what I wrote back then because it felt like a totally different person. I thought to myself if I was someone else reading these posts I would be seriously concerned for my well being.

Along with everyone around the world, June 25th started as a normal day and ended in shock and numbness. I don't remember how I was able to fall asleep that night, but for weeks on end I walked around in a fog. I couldn't eat or sleep. I watched countless videos and interviews of Michael, repeating the same thought in my head, "I can't believe he's gone!" I didn't cry at all until I watched the memorial service and I remember sobbing but at the same time not coming to terms that he was gone. I mean, this was the man who did the Moonwalk on the Motown Anniversary Special, he was magic, timeless, untouchable! Yes, his family was there front row, his brothers carrying his casket, his precious children there, but I couldn't get past the thought that he wasn't here. Even standing in front of Forest Lawn where Michael was buried, I still felt numb. All of it felt like a nightmare I couldn't get out of, but also a dream that I didn't want to wake from.

I didn't realize until later on that I was going through the stages of grief. ...