Hey everyone!
I have not logged in since I signed up, so I am sorry if I forgot to answer messages. The reason is that I'm on mental hospital. I'm allowed to have my laptop in here, but I must have my own internet, and until now, I used my mobile phone. But that was too expensive and the storage was empty after just a few days, so I had to refill my mobile all the time. Now have I get a broadband modem, so it's a little easier to use my computer now. But I'm still on the hospital and I'm not always so well that I can anwer all your messages. But I'm not saying that you must stop send me messages, NO, i LOVE mails and messages! But because of my mood, it can take while to answer. Thank you for understanding.

I'm Tricia-Mary and I'm 19 years old. I have always been very intrested of music, arts, photography and to be creative and artistic. I'm from Sweden, and my english is NOT perfect at all! Please do not complain, but feel free to tell me if you don't understand, or have advice for help with mistakes. I like that, but say it on a nice way, please :)

I found Michael Jackson for a long time ago, and I'm actually don't know when. But surpriserly I started to like him more after his death. I know, it's weird, and many people call me "fake" because of that. But I don't care. I liked him even before, so I'm not "fake" if you want to hear my opinion. But honestly I don't care about what other says about this. Michael is unbelievable, and awesome whatever I'm "fake" or "real". But only one thing: music should be enjoying and awesome, not start fights and make people angry. That's my opinion ;)

Feel free to ask me about whatever you want. Feel free to start conversations. If you wonder why I'm in mental hospital, feel free to ask. I will tell all people who asking, cause I'm not ashamed, or feels like it's too hard to talk about. No questions are bad or stupid :) I mean, if you don't ask, you can't get any answer, right?

Have a nice day/night/whatever (it's night in Sweden..)!
/Tricia

Last set of photos...BOOYAH! lol

More photos!

Here are more photos of the 'Who's Bad?' cover band/tribute show.

Hey everyone! A few weeks ago, I went to see the Michael cover band 'Who's Bad?' when they came to the Chicago area to perform. They are awesome! Seriously. lol. If you ever get a chance to go, take it because you won't regret it. I even got chosen to come on stage with about 8 or 9 other girls! It was a fun time.

I have uploaded some photos from the night, but I always seem to have uploading issues on PosMike (I think PM hates me *sad face*). No, just kidding! I will post some of my other photos in several blogs to follow.

im thinking about penning down a new movie idea for the late King Of Pop, A BioPic. Called "Presence & Glow" it will play off from where it left off from Jacksons American Dream series, michael going into bad album, dangerous album, first allegations, and then lisa marie marriage, and the history album tour, Debbie marriage, Prince Michael born, Paris Jackson Born, Michael working on Invicible in 1999, The Sony records Beef 2001, Invicible album Released, Michael Being Interview By Martin Burshir 2002-2003, the 2005 trial and was aquitted on false charges and left america and then came back in 2008 getting ready for come back and recording new songs, and also the king getting for biggest this is it tour, 2009 annoucement about this is it and it show the last of days of his life and then untilmate death, it shows the day of the memorial service and michael jackson's body is driven to the cememtery while a place with no name playing the whole time and at the end it shows home movies of michael running around playing with prince and blanket and paris, with soundtrack.

I think I'm going crazy. Hell, I write 'diary'. But this really makes me sad. I can't tell it to my friends at school, they won't get it, though. And to be honest, they're the causes of my problem now.
I don't have a diary, so I decided to post what's in my mind in this forum, cause I don't wanna write this in my school's schedule journal. JESUS.

So, one of my friend, Amel, asked me if she could unfollow me on twitter or not, cause I always tweet something about Michael Jackson. I'm a bit surprised (cause I didn't expect that) but, I'm not really bothered by it, really. So I said yes. I'm not a 'twitter people' and I was like "hey, its just twitter right?".

But soon when I'm exactly in my home, I'm wondering. Why I got unfollowed by my own friend? Because I tweet too much about Michael Jackson? Am I obsessed? I'm scared till the neck when I heard 'obsessed'. You won't believe it, but I cried then. I sat and cried. I'm not a new fan of Michael Jackson (I guess), so sometimes I sit and cry, just wondering what's the point of being a fan. Does it worth to my life? Does it worth for this good-three-years for being a fan of this man? Like anonymous said (I don't know who wrote this) :

"Sometimes I sit and cry to wondering. Like, how can I miss someone that I never ever had? How can I cry for someone I never knew? But then I think again about how happy he makes me feel even though he's not physically here."


To my personal, I think again about how can he makes me smile only by see his photo. Whenever he smiles, I smile (*back song : u smile I smile by bieber kid*). Like YOLO stands for, You Only Life Once. Why would i throw something that makes me to keep smiling around people?


So, do I screw my life? Guess not then.


By the way I write this, I'm sitting next to my desk, drinking five cups of coffee, thinking about this 'fan things'. You won't believe this maybe, but this 'fan things' saved my life once. When I failed my exams, I felt depressed. Since I was a kid, my private doctor verdict that I have psychosis. I'd hurt my self If I don't get what I want, or I feel depressed about something. So, when it comes to my exam, I went back to home and went to my room, lock the door and hit my head to the wall, and almost cut my own finger my self. Ironic, I know.

Soon my friend from australia (we've known each other because we are MJ fam) texted me, just to say hi, but I gave her an attitude. Not too long, then we had an argument about it. She mad at me because she thought it's ridiculous to kill my self because I failed my exams. she texted :


"I don't get it. What the hell's wrong with u? U only failed EXAMS. But u know what, I don't think u can still alive or not if you have another failures next time. Exams cannot fu*cked up ur life. Ur life means so much to ur family, & even for me."

Drama, I know, but I cried by this. That was really blown my mind on how 'fan things' like that can gives you an awesome friend, who always there for you, supports and cares about you. I thanked God, he's given me a friend like her.


So as long as it makes you happy, go with it. Keep being an MJ fan, keep being a belieber ; little monster ; K-pop fan ; katty perry fans ; etc, if you're one of them. Keep being something that could keep you happy with.


Last, I'm sorry Amel, if I've been annoying on your timeline for this whole years.



And I'm sorry Michael, for questioned my love for you while you're the only reason for me to be a better person I can be. I love you.

Any show that has to do with Michael Jackson is guaranteed to be a good time. Which is why I was so excited when I finally bought my tickets for the Immortal World Tour. I’ve had the pleasure of seeing Cirque’s show “The Beatles: LOVE” so I just knew that it was going to be amazing.

I saw this show in San Diego and I went with a friend who I knew from high school but had not talked to in about fifteen years!!! When we were young, she was my go to gal for anything Michael related so it was too cool that we were reuniting for something Michael. It still makes me smile.

Unfortunately, we didn’t have the greatest seats. In fact, we were second row from the top of the stadium, LOL!!! But the advantage to that was we didn’t have to turn our heads to see other things going on. We saw the whole stage full on and we were able to take in the entire spectacle as it happened.

It started out quite cute with what I would describe as a street gang hanging out and just dancing really cool to “Workin’ Day and Night”. They were writing graffiti on the giant screen and one of them even got blasted into the air by a fire hydrant which I found quite amusing.

The real opening, in my opinion, to this show was the next number which was “Childhood”. If I could say anything about this show, it’s this: Cirque captured Michael’s spirit SPOT ON. There is a dancer who wears all white and I think that he represents that spirit. There you are at the gates of Neverland, a hot air balloon floating above the stage and the statues coming to life. I imagine that this is what a lot of children saw as they entered the gates to Michael’s home. This is one of many weepy moments throughout the show.

Then we got into the fast paced action of “Wanna Be Startin’ Somethin’.” Totally epic. With an African feel. As to be expected. The next few tunes were some great dance numbers like “Blame It On the Boogie”, “Shake Your Body (Down To the Ground)” and “Dancing Machine”. Now, “Dancing Machine” is probably my favorite mixed track off of the Immortal soundtrack. They really spiced it up!!! In fact, I think I like it better than the original.

Then things slowed down a bit with a lovely rendition of “Ben”. They gave this song a bit of an Orient feel which worked really well and sounded beautiful. Two elephants came on the stage and they looked amazing!!! It made me think of Michael’s elephant, Gypsy.

The next numbers were the “Heartbreak Hotel”/”Smooth Criminal”/”Dangerous” bits. I was really looking forward to this cause I wanted to see what these dancers would do with such classic Michael dance numbers. I was very impressed. When “Dangerous” started to play, one of the female dancers stripped down and pretty much did a pole dance in the middle of the stage. But she was phenomenal. That woman did things with her body I did not know were possible but the number was FANTASTIC. Probably one of my favorite dance numbers.

The gentleman who represented Michael’s spirit did a great solo dance to “Another Part of Me”. It was incredible. I was SO impressed. And while I’m talking about this number I need to pay a huge shout out to the technical wizards behind this production. The stage that they put together was astounding. It moved and changed with the dancers and it lit up when they walked on it (I guess that’s not surprising for a Michael Jackson show) and it was just all around epic. I almost think of the stage as another character or performer, if you will, in the show.

I tend to like more of the upbeat numbers of a show than the slow ones but it is quite the opposite with this show. The “Human Nature”, “I Just Can’t Stop Loving You” and “Will You Be There” numbers were absolutely stunning. I adored what they did with these numbers. Dancers were floating around on wires in the air, lit up with all kinds of beautiful colors. A man and woman floated around each other on ropes for “I Just Can’t Stop Loving You”. Cirque really knew how to choreograph Michael’s songs to their full effect.

Of course, it wouldn’t be a Michael Jackson inspired show without a little bit of weepy thrown in. The number for “Will You Be There” was just beautiful. The dancers held giant hearts above their heads that glowed red and you could definitely feel Michael’s spirit in the air. Although this song is not one of my favorites, it holds a special place in my heart because I remember playing this song for my mother one time and she said that she felt that this song represented Michael and how he really felt about his life and that he was crying out for help. So whenever I hear this song I get a bit sad because I think my mother was right. The line “but I’m only human” really stands out. Then there was a hauntingly beautiful rendition of “I’ll Be There” that was acapella. In a stadium that large, hearing that voice on it’s own with no accompaniment... it was astounding.

At this moment the entire stadium started to shout Michael’s name over and over and I almost felt like I was at his concert for a split second. I can only imagine what that must have felt like. And then the Immortal Megamix started and the show went out with a bang. People stood and applauded for what seemed like ages. AMAZING.

The great thing about this show is that you don’t have to be the most hard core Michael Jackson fan on the planet to enjoy it. There’s something for everyone in this production. Whether it be the choreography, the lighting, the music, the stage... it’s straight up epic and anyone who gets a chance to go should take advantage. And I bet anything that Michael approves. :)

MJ TRIBUTE SHOW IN ATLANTIC CITY NEW JERSEY !!!!!!!!

June 25th Anniversary.

Michael Jackson Tribute Show "The Legacy Lives On"


DATE: June 23, 2012 - June 23, 2012
TIME: 7 to 9 PM
COST: General Admission: $30 VIP: $50
INFO PHONE: 646-504-6747
URL: http://www.thelegacyliveson.com/

TICKET INFO: It is highly recommended to buy tickets online as seats are limited! We also have a very limited amount of VIP tickets. VIP tickets include the following perks: - Gets you straight in the theater without having to wait in line. - Front row seat reserved just for you. - Get to go backstage! Meet the cast and take photos with Maxx Vega Michael Jackson Impersonator. - Bring home a personal autograph photo by Maxx Vega himself! You can safely purchase tickets using your credit card or PayPal through our ticketing partner below:

http://thelegacyliveson.ticketleap.com/michael-jackson-tribute-show-the-legacy-lives-on/

A unique production with an exciting new vision, starring New York City’s #1 Michael Jackson Impersonator/Tribute Artist, "Maxx Vega", joined by some of New York City's hottest dancers and live singers in authentic costumes! Also, featuring a Lady Gaga Impersonator/Tribute Artist, as the opening act, plus a very special on-screen and live vocal tribute to the legendary Whitney Houston.


http://njmonthly.com/events/20801.html

*I am no way a certified expert since I've had no training and did not obtain a Certificate in MJIWT Awesomeness PHD. However, I've seen the show about (at press time) 4 times and learned enough to know that this show rocks. Also I got tired of the biased reviews and wanted to give an insider review of how the show really is.


Imagine if one day someone came up to you and said, "We want you to put on the biggest show in the world for one of the biggest entertainers in the world. It's going to go across the globe, reaching millions of fans, and it must be epic. Oh by the way, this is for Michael Jackson."

No pressure, huh?

It feels like eons ago, but when The Estate and Cirque announced the Michael Jackson Immortal World Tour, I was excited, thrilled, and a little curious. How do you represent the music, the power, the passion of Michael Jackson to a worldwide audience? My first thought would be you can't only Michael did. Once I got over my assumptions, I wondered how this would all go down. Doing a show is daunting in itself. Attaching the name "Michael Jackson" to it is a whole different kettle of fish. One can't assume that just because it's Michael, fans will flock in droves, complete in jackets, fedoras, and glittery gloves. One can't predict that they would be engrossed in this show. Being in the Michael community I know that not only we are a global community, but we all have different opinions and tastes when it comes to Michael; I may think the Dangerous album is the bee's knees while another may think otherwise.


And then there is another audience; the Cirque Du Soleil fan. How do you bring them to show that is clearly about Michael but with the Cirque name. Where do you find that balance? If you've read the reviews of the Cirque show it falls into two certain categories: the "writer" bemoan that there is the main star isn't in the show, in result a disjointed and confusing storyline; that the average Michael fan will be contempt because they are playing his music but won't care for the premises of Cirque; the show is too loud and too much in your face. And to cap it off to show they are not biased, will add a title referencing an album that you have have heard of.

I imagine that all of these situations were brought up a long time ago when Immortal was merely just a suggestion. But from what I've seen, the Estate has done an amazing job of re-branding Michael's image. I can remember years ago when his music was only played on Halloween (Thriller, of course) and if rarely, on his birthday. His name was brought up negatively by "news" pundits and VH1/MTV specials about the 80's. There was no merchandise at your local mall, unless you count CD's at the record store. No one I saw was walking around with with buckles or zippers on their jackets. It felt as if Michael Jackson was something that was ancient, old hat, that was only brought up to makes jokes on or rave about how great he was back in the day. This changed with his untimely passing June 25th. However, there is no promise in death that an artist (or anyone) will receive a second chance in life. Suddenly T-shirts were popping up everywhere, fans came out of the woodwork, and people talked about the amazing things Michael did for others. Now it is more acceptable to not only talk about Michael Jackson, but show appreciation for him and his music.

Take for example a moment I had with a coworker who loves Cirque but isn't a Michael fan. Curiosity had gotten the best of her and she asked what Immortal was all about. By the end of the day she had bought tickets for her and her daughter, she told other people she was going which prompted them to ask me more questions. Before I knew it everyone was talking about Michael Jackson and a few even bought tickets to the show. Another moment was when another fan brought her dad to the show. He isn't a fan of Michael but when the show was over he did see Michael's talent in another light, he wasn't just "that guy who made Thriller"; he was a humanitarian, philanthropist, entertainer, fashion icon and so much more. It's changing how people think of Michael, something that may not have happened a few years ago.


The changing brand of Michael Jackson is more apparent at the show. You may not be able to guess who is a longtime fan from a new fan, which doesn't matter. But what I've learned is that Michael breaks all boundaries of race, culture, religion, you name it. I've seen cowboys in hats and stirrups, CEO's of companies in their expensive Armani suites; writers and college professors in jeans and T-shirts; toddlers in Thriller jackets being carried by their grandparents who have on glittery gloves and fedoras; sisters who flew 13 hours to see the show, families who live right around the corner; buff jocks who will have a lengthy conversation about how they cried when Michael died but love to go Michaeling as hard as I do; wrestling enthusiasts whose favorite song is Human Nature; housewives, work wives, college students, teachers, doctors, all different races and backgrounds. If the United Nations ever had openings, they can find them here at the Immortal show.


Immortal performers


As for Immortal, it will definitely not disappoint! Without giving much away, Cirque didn't meet the expectations, they exceeded them. Michael's powerful voice looms over the show, but Cirque finds creative ways to blend in their acrobatic moves, futuristic fashion and style, without straying from the message of L.O.V.E. There is a dancing mime (played by Salah Benlemqawanssa) brings you on a journey; He first appears and "discovers" the music by interacting with the crowd, then he becomes one with the music, a vessel to deliver the message to you (thus, being another part of him). Cirque expertly balances Michael's music by letting it speak for itself, blending visuals both physically and digitally. (Michael clips play on the big screen in a few numbers). My favorite moments are with Human Nature, two artists representing the constellations wearing multicolored LED costumes swoop, soar and float in the air. Two lovers' interpretation of I Just Can't Stop Loving You is beautiful and a bit frightening with their acrobatic ballerina moves that you shouldn't try at home. They Don't Care About Us brings the fire, complete with the military drill and a sick chorus rendition that will rock you right out of your seat. This Place Hotel/Smooth Criminal/Dangerous medley brings the house down with pyro, leaning dancers, and one provocative pole dancer. Along with Bubbles the chimp, a one legged dancer, acrobats, Cellist, dancers and countless more, one can't help but think that this is the concert Michael should have had.

I'm not going to lie it will be emotional show, MJ fan or not. However, the good outweighed the bad in so many ways. With each show I'm amazed at the love for Michael; The chanting and singing literally makes the ground shake and gave me goosebumps. At a time where love and acceptance is desperately needed, Immortal provides two things: it helps you escape from the real world through music, but it also reminds us of Michael's message of peace and love for one another. I couldn't think of a better fitting tribute to Michael Joseph Jackson, the King of Pop.


Tips:

Before You Go: Don't get hyped up about not getting VIP/front row seats. Cirque does a good job of making sure everyone can get a good view. Best bet is to get seats dead center (any section).

When You Go Get there early to meet the crowd, you never know who you'll see!

Intermission: Seriously, take the break, you're going to need it!

During the Show: Dance. I'm seriously. You don't know how many times I've seen people too nervous to get up and boogie. It only takes one person, let it be you! Get up and dance!

After the Show: Stop by the merchandise booth. I highly recommend the MJIWT Sweatshirt, mug, and T-shirt. These are unavailable online, so this may be your only chance to get them.

After-After the Show: Go online to see the next time MJIWT will be in your city again, you'll definitely want to go again and again!


Cirque's Immortal World Tour: http://www.cirquedusoleil.com/en/sho...r/default.aspx
Top 20 Concerts From Pollstar: http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/articl...a101446D84.DTL

Cause I'm dreaming of you tonight
'Til tomorrow I'll be holding you tight
And there's nowhere in the world I'd rather be
Than here in my room, dreaming about you and me




Hi My beautiful Michaellets!!Do you ever Dream about Michael??? I know I do!!!!
I literally can't stop dreaming of him!!! It's been like that for about two years now. I notice that I dream about Michael 2, 3 or 4 nights out of the week! That's no lie!! Even when I try not to dream about Michael he still pops up! And at the most random times!! But I really enjoy it, The dreams are always really sweet :) . Being an Mj Addict has PLENTY of benefits!! The down side of it though is that I wake up sad because Michael's not really there and it was all a dream :( If only some dreams came true.

One of the dreams was really sweet. If was raining cats and dogs outside an Michael and I were inside keeping warm with hot coco. I'm not ombrophobic, I love rain but apparently in this dream I was . I was completely terrified of the rain and Michael calmed me by wrapping his arms around me while singing softly into my ear.

In my dreams Michael is the ultimate dream guy. Well he IS the ultimate dream guy but when I'm dreaming about him I feel so close to him, like I knew him. To get to know Michael is one of my dreams and I know that in reality I know it's not possible but I smile knowing that when I close my eyes I slip into a whole new world. A world of Michael.

I suspect to be dreaming about Michael tonight, as usual. I can't wait to see what we'll do together tonight. Oh and if you dream of Michael, feel free to share your dreams with me. Maybe we'll all dream of Michael tonight!

Michael'sDarlingDear

Hi everyone,
If you wish to join us in healing the world go add your support here. Michael Jackson had a dream to heal the world lets help him keep that dream. I have a surprise for you all. Read the entire pages of my web site and you will smile. http://wp.me/P2iA6s-2 It's all true—dyfying all logic. Michael ruled the world and guess what he went and done:) go have a look and smile and spread the word of the great news.
Tammy
Michael nicked named me Destiny, You'll see why:)

Paparazzi got you scared like a monster


I remember the distinct moment when I heard the news. I was on vacation enjoying some time with some new friends when I decided to check my twitter account. Looking at my feed, I rolled me eyes at the usual trending topics until one thing stopped me cold. It said RIP____. At first I couldn't believe it until I saw the tweet from CNN's Don Lemon. Whitney Houston was gone.

Immediately, my mind and emotions flashed back to June 25th, 2009 as I stared blankly at the same words ran across the screen. Shock that it happened. Disbelief that I was watching this. Denial that she was gone. The words were there but my mind wasn't. It felt like someone had ripped open the scar I had grown used to. Although I wasn't a big fan, Whitney was one of my favorite singers and she was a part of my childhood. My first memories were watching "I Wanna Dance With Somebody" video and thinking she was the coolest girl on the planet, and I wanted to be just like her. And we all knew the lyrics to "The Greatest Love of All", no matter if we loved it or not, you couldn't deny it's epincess. And at a time when the US was at war, Whitney calmly and proudly sang, not sung, the hell out of the Star Spangled Banner. The Bodyguard, Waiting to Exhale, and the Preacher's Wife showed her versatility and grace.

Whitney is human, just like us. She had her problems, just like we all do, but it was right into the public eyes. Instead of showing support for Whitney, the tabloids slammed her, showing pictures of her supposed destroyed room, spreading rumors, and the worse of all pictures of her in her casket. This sent shivers down my spine as it reminded me of the "last" picture of Michael, him on a stretcher. As I recoiled over the disgusting way her name was being thrown, I couldn't help but think they they are doing the exact same thing to her as they did with Michael. One minute they love you, the next minute they want to tear you down. Take a look at the magazine covers:






The first example, both from Ebony Magazine, gives a fitting tribute to the two falling stars. I've read both and instead of focusing on the failures, they celebrated their successes. The demons they faced aren't slightly glossed over, but it's refreshing to see that they aren't obsessed with how they passed, etc. But then they are magazines with a different spin:



Is Rolling Stone trying to imply that "Diva" is supposed to be a bad thing, and it turn that is her downfall? And the "dark side" quote is nothing but a cheap shot to her. Her gaze is upwards to the heaven, a fallen angel. Alas, RS has done this before:



Seeing this breaks my heart because Rolling Stone deliberately hurts Michael with such a haunting sad picture. They smugly declare that Jackson is in ruin, then a teaser with his "last recordings." I'm no journalist and neither is the RS, but I know when venom is used and they do it with Michael and Whitney. One could argue that Ebony, a magazine created, and mostly read by African-Americans would of course defend their Black idols to the end, while the other magazines spend their time destroying Black Artists to confirm once again that money and success couldn't cover up their inferiority. But for me, my focus isn't on what race an artist is when they suddenly pass away, but why there is this sick desire to destroy their character, exorcise and rip out every positive thing about them, strip them of their dignity, dump them like trash, then when there is something remotely human about them, the Destruction must start over again.


Someone tell me why


How did we get here? Whatever happened to the time when Privacy actually meant something? I think back to the Golden Age of Hollywood where actors and actresses private life were actually private. I'm sure there was bribery and money passed back and forth to keep it out of the papers, but there was this mutual understanding that some things were kept quiet. I don't know when exactly the pendulum swung and we all wanted to know the coming and goings of celebrities, but there are some distinct moments in pop history that may have influenced it. The death of Marilyn Monroe in 1962 changed the way: pictures of her body being carried out by the police, the emphasis was that she was nude, no matter on this poor woman died, but in the nude! 15 years later, Elvis Presley dies in the bathroom of his Graceland home (and multiple jokes of how he was positioned in the bathroom continue for decades), pictures of him is on the cover of the National Inquirer. 17 years later a former football player gives the CA police a chase in his white Bronco and denies the murders of his ex-wife and her boyfriend. 3 years after that the People's Princess simply wanted to enjoy life, but the paparazzi ended her life shortly in Paris, France. And on it goes.

Many have argued as to why we have all become obsessed with celebrities. One could theorize that internet has fed our never ending appetite for destruction, and I believe that is true. Imagine if Twitter, Facebook, and "news" stations were around when President Kennedy was shot or John Lennon was assassinated! Even before the official announcement of their passing, TV stations would be tearing them down, probably calling Kennedy a crazy Liberal and Lennon a left wing hippie and other silicious comments. TMZ would know before their families the cause of death because apparently they are the truth. Talk show hosts would be knocking down doors of Kurt Cobain, Marvin Gaye, and Jim Morrison's families for the exclusive interviews.


The whole system sucks, dammit
--Scream


So where do we go from here? Have we pushed the envelope so far that there is no way to go? A Pandora's box has opened and I feel that unfortunately there is no way of closing it back. I do admit there are celebrities that love the spotlight and crave it, but no one deserves to have paparazzi hiding in trees trying to get a photo, or worse, taking pictures of your deceased body in a casket for money. But as the monster continues to be fed, it will only get worse.



“Success makes so many people hate you. I wish it wasn't that way. It would be wonderful to enjoy success without seeing envy in the eyes of those around you.”

Hi everyone! I'm sure that I am the newest member on this site. I have been admiring this site from a far for about a year(The rare pictures thread is Michaelious!!) I would just like to thank everyone for making me feel welcomed to the site. I hate being the new girl on the block, whether it be in reality or on line but I feel so welcomed now thanks to all you nice Mj Fanatics!! Welcoming others with open arms, coming together as one; those are all the great dreams Michael had for the world. And I think it makes him very proud to see this. Even though we are just a website or a simple forum we are still making him proud in more ways than one. Everything great once started off small and I truly believe that us, as a small group of Mj Fanatics can do great things.

"Maybe you an I can't do great things. We may not change the world in one day. But we still can change some things today, In Our Small Way"

Just a little time is all it takes; but I believe we can do great things. In Our Small Way



Once again thank you to all who made me feel welcomed to the forum!!! I can't wait to see all the great Michaeling we'll do together

-Michael'sDarlingDear

This was a reallyh long blog, so I had to split it into 2 segments.

6/29/09, cont:

I think this world sucks now. This world is filled with altruistic and shallow people who will hurt and kill each other because of greed and hatred. That's all that's left. They will not take care of the world and its creatures. They will not love the world's children. The innocent and the helpless. Michael spent his life trying to do the right thing, asking for nothing in return. He had given more money and support to the planet and the worlds needy than any other celebrity. HE did many things that didn't make the news because they only wanted to hear something negative about him. They still wanted to portray him as a mentally-ill pedophile drug addict/alcoholic who didn't like his race, and who was irresponsible with money. Anything bad about Michael that they could report they did. And when they couldn't find any facts, they made them up.

Music will suck forever. I have never been a real fan of music other than Michael's to begin with, so I'm biased from the start. Michael's music was so unique. He usually thought out of the box when it came to structure, beats, creativity and theme. His music came from his heart and mind and was authentic. To me, it was music's equivalent to health food. When I listen to Eminem, or Snoop Dogg, or NWA, am left feeling angry and aggressive. When I hear Michael's music, I walk away peaceful, having of sense of being blanketed with his love, left thinking about the world and about my life. Wanting to do well for people and society, and have a rocking beat in my soul. My soul is actually flying

His music was also very sexual. Michael was able to bring sexuality without having to be explicit and lewd. Even the most sexual of his songs (superfly sister, in the closet) was safe for young ears, because he made you use your imagination with his innuendo. His music was universal. Even though his songs were in English, everyone was able to dance and enjoy it. His songs were more romantic, than sexual. He believed that sex should be shared with someone you loved. Love was the prevailing theme in nearly all of his music.

His music taught lessons. Taught the world tolerance, love, and responsibility. My favorite song and his most biographical song was Stranger In Moscow. I was in such deep pain at the time the song came out. He was in pain because because of the child abuse scandal and he was actually in Moscow licking his wounds when it was written. OMG. When I am sad and lonely I like hearing that one. It was about depression, but it makes me better cope with what I am feeling. SIM was the most perfect song he has never written. Many people don’t even know about it.

His music was more than unique, it made sense. Many of the music out now are just absurd. Many of the beats are manufactured and recycled from other songs. Music videos are boring and repetitive. Lacks creativity. Many of the dancing and choreography looks like aerobics and have been done before. I lack interest with today’s music. Most of the new artists lack that talent, and charm that Michael had. I once told people that the music industry is dead, and the only person to bring the life back to it was Michael. Looks like that will never happen now. Many people agree with me. Even some people in the music industry had recently admitted to this on television. Maybe after Michael’s funeral is over, we should hold a funeral for the music industry.

There will never be anyone like Michael Jackson. No one close. I got offended when they were comparing him to Elvis. Elvis wrote very little of his own music. He stole from black artists. He was also a racist. To me comparing Michael Jackson to Elvis is an insult. Elvis couldn’t even hold a light to Michael as far as personality, talent, and creativity. I never understood his fan base. Nothing of his appealed to me. He wasn’t the greatest singer, and his dancing was just ok. I guess not too bad for a white guy. His acting sucked balls. Why did they continue to make movies with that hack? Even his fans admitted they were bad. I even tried to watch a taped Elvis concert and I got bored. I think that all he had going for him was his good looks (admit tingly, he was fine in his young years). To me, Michael and Elvis don’t even belong in the same category, let alone sentence. Yeah, they may have died similarly. Yeah, Michael may have married his crack-hoar of a daughter, but that’s where the comparisons end. The early Beatles kicked Elvis’ ass any day.
I was angry at a lot of people when Michael died. It was because I love him so much. People have tried to trivialize my affection for him to nothing more than a fanatical quirk. They couldn’t be more wrong. My love for Michael runs so deep. It was almost sick the love and affection I had for him. Many people don’t even understand why I would have so much love for a person who I don’t even know. The truth is, I felt I did know him. I knew him as much as a fan possibly could. Yes, I have never met him, but have loved Michael since I was a very young child. He was just so good. I saw the love he had for people and the world. I had a very difficult childhood, and I needed him. He provided so much joy and escapes fro my problems. More than anything, I LOVED the music. It is the best thing in the world. Better than drugs and sex. Sometimes better than the best thing you can think about. He took the best things out of life and put it to music and video. Joy, anger sadness and pain, love. I felt it all. No other person has had that effect on me.

Also I was attracted to him. Not just sexual, him as a whole. He was just a gorgeous, beautiful man. He was always beautiful to me. It didn’t matter what he looked like, when I saw him and looked into his eyes I was looking in his heart. He was a beautiful baby, handsome little boy, teenager, and even in middle age e was beautiful, like time has forgotten him. Not sag, not a wrinkle, and a toned body. Many people talk about all the work he had done, but I don’t believe he had that much. And even if he did, that’s his business. I loved him no matter what he did to himself. It just never mattered to me.

This really hurts. This will hurt for a long time. I don’t know how to go on without his music and influence. I know many people say that I should, but this is going to be so hard. I don’t even think it entirely sink in with me that he is dead. I’m numb with emotion. At first I cried literally for days after his death, but the sadness has been mostly replaced with anger and inquisition.

What are us MJ fans going to do with our lives? I’ve looked forward everyday logging on the the fansites and talking to my fellow fans about Michael and events. Many nice people I have met that way. I looked forward to new pictures and stories. I enjoyed creating scenarios and antidotes to discuss. With others. I enjoyed the debates, and was able to express my feelings and perspectives that people who understood. I couldn’t talk about these things with family. They wouldn’t understand, or be interested. When the funeral and the entire sensationalism die down, what will there be to talk about? Nothing. We can share memories together, and talk about projects that we liked, but when we run out of stuff to talk about, then what will happen? These fan sites will start shutting down through lack of interest eventually. That that will be very sad.

I miss him very much. Of all celebrities that had to die, why did it have to be Michael? My hero? In some ways I owe my life to him. He got me through my tough adolescence. To me, he was the only celebrity. I was never a star-struck person, but with Michael, I lost my head. I never cared about anyone else, but Michael. To me, there was not A-List, or D-list. It was just Michael Jackson. He didn’t have any peers. I didn’t think that he would die in this way. I have always vision that he would die at age 90 of natural causes, surrounded by his children and grandchildren and friends. His parents are still alive, and they are in their 80’s so I thought that Michael would be around for quite a while.

I take some comfort in the thought that he’s in a better place. He had no pain. He didn’t suffer. He basically just went to sleep and didn’t wake up. He’s in a place where there will be no ridicule or criticism. He will not have to experience pain anymore. If there is a heaven, he is definitely there. If they didn’t let Michael Jackson in, then no one is good enough for heaven. If there is a God, Michael was his/her top warrior, his/her golden boy messenger, fighting for the cause. If God does exist, he/she definitely loved Michael. Devine intervention saved him from dying earlier than he did. And that I am grateful for.

I don’t know for sure if there is a God, or devil, or a heaven or hell, or angels, but I do believe in energy and life force and spirit. That’s what makes us who we are. Without those things, we would just be like robots with no emotions. I think that Michael’s spirit, and life-force joined the energy of the universe. It could be in the stars, or even in the air that we breathe. I believe that he could be anywhere he wants to now. As his physical body will disintegrate in a box in a hole somewhere, his spirit may go places where he had always dreamed. I hope he gets to see other planets and solar systems, and meet other life forms. He may learn about whole new sounds. Who knows what songs or dance moves he can come up with now? I bet it would be brilliant! I hope that when I die, I will see him again, along with others who I also miss.

I love you, Michael. I really miss you. My heart aches and you will live in my soul forever. I am a better human being just from knowing you. You’ve meant so much too so many people! I never can say goodbye. No NO!NO!